7 Things to do at the office under the radar

I am sure some of these things have crossed people’s minds while bored at work. But you should give it a try and reap the benefits. I, myself have been doing number 1 quite recently to get this site open

1. Bug the graphics guy
to use his scanner for personal gain, such as scanning stunningly hot girls in Thai Magazines to post on your website. It will be hard at first because of the noise from the scanner, but after a while - once it settles into people’s minds - it will be rather soothing. Silence is deafening sometimes.

2. Photocopy paper
Place a sheet of paper in the photocopy machine’s reading bed and press to copy at least a thousand. Then sit back and wait till someone finds it and calls the mechanics. Or presses the stop button :\ Maybe photocopy a bogus error message e.g. Error: Carborator has had a major malfunction. Please replace engine immediately or send machine to nearest 24 hour vet.

3. Check your ebay listings
This can be done hourly to check up on your car radiator that you have posted for sale. Or you could go ’sniping’ and try to steal as many closing bids away as possible. It’s quite rewarding too if your in “a bidding war for a black velvet Pamela Anderson poster”.

4. Call someone
Using one of the bluetooth headsets, while typing, make it look like your reading the screen and mouthing the text, but instead you’re talking to friends etc. Make sure that if you’re leaning on your hand which has it’s elbow on the table that it looks like you’re thinking, rather than bored.

5. Take more toilet breaks
If you get asked, say you have diahoerrea. The questions will then stop.

6. Set up spy cams
Especially at the entrances / exits so that you won’t have to be under the radar so often since there is warning.

7. Fake a death, or severe seizure
Not quite under the radar, but you could get a few weeks off. Set up a camera to record beforehand and place it somewhere. There’s no need to hide it much, as all the attention will be focused on you.

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Filed under: Tips on August 25th, 2006